Recently, Republican Congressional candidate Stephen Broden...?
of the Dallas, Texas area, made waves when he said: "We have a constitutional remedy...And the Framers say if that don't work, revolution." (http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/102210dnmetbroden.1b2338185.html) Liberal news outlets and blogs (MSNBS, Kos, etc.) were appalled! What have other Americans said about armed rebellion? Thomas Jefferson on the Shaysite Rebellion: "I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical. .... It is a medicine necessary for the sound health of government. " (http://www.let.rug.nl/usa/P/tj3/writings/brf/jefl64.htm) And elsewhere: "God forbid we should ever be 20 years without such a rebellion. ... If they remain quiet under such misconceptions it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. We have had 13. states independent 11. years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century & a half for each state. What country before ever existed a century & half without a rebellion? & what country can preserve it's liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms." (http://www.earlyamerica.com/review/summer/letter.html) More recently, unabashed Marxist domestic terrorist Bill Ayers of the Weathermen said: “…We came to do material damage to pig Amerika and all that it’s about — its school-jails, its pig armies, its fat businessmen, and its greedy empire. We came to do it in the road—in the open—so that white Amerika could dig on the opening of the a new front, on the birth of a new brigade in the world liberation army. We came to attack—because we know that the only things to defend in honkie Amerika are the privileges—the cars, the apartments, the hotels, the TV’s,–that we’ve gained off the sweat of the people of the world. We came to vamp on those privileges and destroy the m—–f—– from the inside… From here on it’s one battle after another… Pig Amerika—Beware: There’s an army growing right in your guts, and it’s going to help bring you down.†And he remains a hero of the "Professional Left," as VP Biden called it, as well as personal friend of - - well, let's just say other people in high places. So why was this statement from Broden so controversial? Is it only because he's a black Republican, and the Liberal Plantation thinks he's gotten too uppity?
Current Events - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Since Republicans like him are Elected this gladly ain't a reality I mean what he said If Democrats won the house as well as the senate people would be angry so angry they we're going to kill people He wasn't advocating for Violence He was Warning people Voting Republican would mean Peace Voting Democrat would mean War that's his whole point.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Help! Resume problems
Help! Resume problems?
i want to start a job, im a 23 year old mom i came to amerika 5 years ago, i do not have any experience, but i did finish high school, but now im wondering what should i put in my resume since i have not work my hole life, well i did work but my work did not get paid, so anyone out there please help me what should i do, i want to get a job at macys or blooming dales thank you.
Other - Careers & Employment - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You could have a section on "skills," rather than experience, etc.
2 :
daycare for your kid or if s/he is in school then there ya go and college for you. (:
3 :
I would suggest that you do a google search about resumes. They have a lot of suggestions. And, honestly, get someone who has a good command of the English language to take a look at your information before you send it. By the way, most department stores will not ask for a resume. So you are probably ok.
4 :
go to college? work at mcdonalds, i mean at macys!!??!! or probably work at olive garden..they pay good there... i used to work there..
5 :
Its america. and if you want to get a job there tell them that you have to experiance at a paid job. if you have to have expericance then work for some one like .... Mc donalds .... then like quit and put that you worked there for your past reference. :D good luck. if you are not illigal it should not matter if you have worked anywere before. you see them white rich stuck up people get jobs with a snap of a finger when they want to.. even if they have never lifted a finger in there life. just make sure you let them know you are hard working. :D
6 :
Include your skills and your expertise in your resume. This will add up.. anyways experience is not always necessary if you are applying for the job that you think you can handle and be a better person.
7 :
start with your name and contact information your qualifications ,What you're good at, that makes you the best person for the position. Work experience...doesnt mean work that you had to be paid for, or current experience.....Anything....if you havent done anything in your whole life, then you may have to start at walmart or target, build some experience up, then apply at macy's or bloomingdales list any awards ...attendance, safety.etc. any training you've had education, include where and that you graduated list any languages you're fluent in speaking and writing and offer references if they request them. Good luck and I hope you get the job you're lookin for
8 :
Couple of posts with the right idea. Your resume should be a "Functional Resume" instead of a "Job History" resume. The functional one could say things like: Familiar with PC computers and Word Documents Able to keep deadlines and follow schedules. http://jobstar.org/tools/resume/res-func.php
i want to start a job, im a 23 year old mom i came to amerika 5 years ago, i do not have any experience, but i did finish high school, but now im wondering what should i put in my resume since i have not work my hole life, well i did work but my work did not get paid, so anyone out there please help me what should i do, i want to get a job at macys or blooming dales thank you.
Other - Careers & Employment - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You could have a section on "skills," rather than experience, etc.
2 :
daycare for your kid or if s/he is in school then there ya go and college for you. (:
3 :
I would suggest that you do a google search about resumes. They have a lot of suggestions. And, honestly, get someone who has a good command of the English language to take a look at your information before you send it. By the way, most department stores will not ask for a resume. So you are probably ok.
4 :
go to college? work at mcdonalds, i mean at macys!!??!! or probably work at olive garden..they pay good there... i used to work there..
5 :
Its america. and if you want to get a job there tell them that you have to experiance at a paid job. if you have to have expericance then work for some one like .... Mc donalds .... then like quit and put that you worked there for your past reference. :D good luck. if you are not illigal it should not matter if you have worked anywere before. you see them white rich stuck up people get jobs with a snap of a finger when they want to.. even if they have never lifted a finger in there life. just make sure you let them know you are hard working. :D
6 :
Include your skills and your expertise in your resume. This will add up.. anyways experience is not always necessary if you are applying for the job that you think you can handle and be a better person.
7 :
start with your name and contact information your qualifications ,What you're good at, that makes you the best person for the position. Work experience...doesnt mean work that you had to be paid for, or current experience.....Anything....if you havent done anything in your whole life, then you may have to start at walmart or target, build some experience up, then apply at macy's or bloomingdales list any awards ...attendance, safety.etc. any training you've had education, include where and that you graduated list any languages you're fluent in speaking and writing and offer references if they request them. Good luck and I hope you get the job you're lookin for
8 :
Couple of posts with the right idea. Your resume should be a "Functional Resume" instead of a "Job History" resume. The functional one could say things like: Familiar with PC computers and Word Documents Able to keep deadlines and follow schedules. http://jobstar.org/tools/resume/res-func.php
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Do others find that the American Dream is a lie
Do others find that the American Dream is a lie?
I know that the American Dream means different things to different people. But in most part - it means financial success and opportunity in America-this is the definition I will use here. So can someone who did everything right- got a dual degree in college, had a great military career, and two master degrees (MPA/Management and Computer Studies/Liberal Arts). I make a cool $40k a year with a family of four. America is not the land of opportunity. There are jobs-plenty of jobs at Mickey Ds or changing oil at Quick Lube. I was out of work for 7 months! I lost my house to foreclosure, I have thousand of debt due to not having any money. And if I see one more financial expert on TV telling us to cut expenses - I guess I can cut out food, gas, and shelter. Or they make out everyone in financial trouble as being financially unworthy-we should just juggle our portfolios around-maybe sell our vacation home. Or if there is one more luxury car commercial telling me I can lease a new Mercedes Benz I think I will go postal. I was told coming from a working class family that education was the key along with hard work. I have done both. Now I have loan debt I can not pay and a family living on food stamps-which ran out because they gave me only$297 a month! How can a family eat on $297 a month? This election is for us to vote for one elite group over the other. One promises lower taxes and the other big brother to help us. But without good paying jobs there is nothing!!! Pat Buchanan in his book "Day of Reckoning" states some facts that I would have never believed years ago. Free Trade as the globalists and corporate American wants is nothing but the rich getting richer-shipping good jobs over seas-ruining our country's power to produce products- and killing the American Dream. You got to read that book even if your liberal-he makes the case against this neo-conservative bs and very liberal policies. I have a great track record -experience-leadership-education-ability to get things done. What does corporate Amerika want? Some out of college Ken or Barbie or can only nod "yes" to their corporate masters. Still what happened to the American Dreams? Can some one tell me? Please do not tell me to trust in God that all will be well unless God is going to pay my rent. I need cash. At this point I would put a cap in a brother to make a dollar. Isn't that so sad to be driven to the point of pawning your cloths for money? Maybe I can get my old lady to sell it on the streets! Some days I pray that the world would just end so the pain and stress would be over. We need to turn this pain to action.
Other - Careers & Employment - 11 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Well, fair for the rich, and unfair for the ppor. Isn't that what it's like for every country?
2 :
There are still better jobs than McDs out there. I have a BSBA in Bus admin, I make 50k+ per year, I get a company car... Its hard. Im barely making ends meet, buried in student loans and credit cards, but there is a way. What we need is a little help for us in the middle. They say we cant make jobs and that rich people need more money. The fact is, I have business plan and an idea for what I want to do tostart a business but cannot get a loan or save enough money to do it on my own. The Obama plan to re-energize this country from the bottom up, while not perfect, is what I see as the best bet to help me live my american Dream.
3 :
Trust in God. All will be well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sppIUROLies . .
4 :
I am sorry your life sucks maybe you ought to go somewhere where you mean nothing and are able to eat maybe toast for your only meal that day. The good thing is that if you don't like life here then change it. Clearly you would be making more money at Walmart so go do that. Or waiters make bank too.
5 :
To an extent yes, but I mean there are worse places out there. America is selling themselves out by encouraging businesses to go overseas by giving them tax cuts. I wouldn't mind taxes if the money was used in an efficient manner. The financial experts only tell you to cut it, if you don't need that expense, i.e cable bill, restaurant bill, use coupons and etc.
6 :
Preach!! Preach!!! The American dream is a big fat lie!! I love your post!!! I keep telling people the damn government doesnt give a rats a** about people who have lost their homes due to forclosure, who are out of jobs because of layoffs, who are struggling just to put food on the table. Thats f__ing said that your family ran out of food stamps and with grocery prices so high no a family of four cannot eat on $297 a month. You know who cares??? People that want to help, but are in no position to. The people that can help and do something about it they dont give a damn(oh wait thats the government). They dont have to worry about a damn thing because the are living really good. Having a college degree does not guarantee a great job or more money. There are lots of people with college degrees working in fast food joints or some low paying crappy job because they cant find jobs. You have two masters degrees and you only make $40,000???????? That sounds crazy. A family of four cant survive on that salary. I hope you dont have to pawn your clothes for money. Yes if the world did end your pain and suffering would be over. I dont think its going to end anytime soon though. The American dream died a loooong time ago ( from the 18th to 20th century, the beginning of America). I believe at one point in time America was the land of opportunity in these days and times it is not. The only people that have it good are the wealthy people. I read the poor and rich gap is growing fast in America. I wish I could help you in some way. No God is not going to magically pay your rent, but you can pray for him to find a way to help you pay your rent. Yeah you could be a waiter for a while. I know older people who are in their 30's and 40's waiting on tables and they have families too. Some job is better than no job. Get your wife to work as well.
7 :
First, let me say I'm sorry you've run on hard times. You and I are in similar position - I've got my degrees, didn't do the military (you have my respect for that, sir) and worked my way up, up and up, until the firm I was at didn't do what they should've been doing (getting more work) and laid off about 70 people. I've come to find that the corporate officers gave themselves a nice little bonus for keeping the company solvent. A bonus that would equal my salary for about four years (for each person). This is obscene in these times that these people would accept this, but greed will win out in the end I guess. I'm for capitalism and getting what you're worth, but to do so at the painful expense of others is criminal in my opinion. I have to say, I've been fortunate that I still have my home, but things are tight. But to answer your question, the American Dream is still there, but for some it has turned into a nightmare. I know this will ring hollow, but keep your chin up, and know that many of us are in this with you. Good luck to you.
8 :
Security is an illusion. Welcome to reality. If you trust in yourself, you can survive (maybe).
9 :
Yes. It's a lie that only successful people are worthy of the fruits of success particulary when the definition of success is so narrow. Look at how we treat the people that work the hardest. It kills me how much entertainers make. I'm talking about the ones that aren't talented or that don't seem to put in much effort. Clinton did a lot of damage and he is a blue dog democrat. He is appeasing to Republicans. I don't think Obama will be able to do what is truly needed. It will be a step in the right direction. You should start a business but with what money? Isn't that key? I would love to start my own business. I need money and time of which I am really short. In college, I worked for a family friend that got laid off and was fortunate enough to be able to start a drycleaning business. He said that he did so because he couldn't find work. He was in business management. He and his wife served in the Military. Great people. edit: Network. You may have to move. Contact employment agencies in your area. Volunteer because it could lead to more opportunities.
10 :
Maybe some of you just need to live outside the states for a while. I lived in Chile for a few years then came back. There, the government make it nearly impossible to get ahead. I came back to the states, and I got my degree in construction management (nothing fancy-but it is specialized). I work my butt off and my first year out of school I am pulling in about 85K. I am not saying this to brag, but I am saying that opportunity still exists if you find yourself a niche and distinguish yourself from the crowd. Anyone can make a good living if they are creative, innovative, or just willing to go balls out and work. Don't give up on America. If you don't think that we are living in the land of opportunity, go live somewhere else for a few years, then you will appreciate what you have.
11 :
I'm sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation. However, I don't think the American Dream is a lie. I think it is misunderstood. The American Dream is not a law, formula, or a guarantee. It does mean do X and you will receive Y. The American Dream means that the opportunity to advance oneself exists and has few if any governmental barriers. It means that this country is as close to a meritocracy as possible (i.e. those that generate the value, receive the rewards). Education (like any other qualification) only gets your foot in the door. It opens up opportunity, but does not guarantee success. Hard work is a great thing and strong work ethic is valuable to most companies, but it is secondary. The cold realities of business mean that companies, at least amongst the rank & file, do not reward effort - they reward results. If you can't find a job that pays what you need to comfortably support you lifestyle (yes, children are a lifestyle decision), then you have a couple options: 1) take whatever work you can and keep looking for (better yet, try generating) opportunity, or 2) strike out on your own if you can (that's the crux of American Dream right there... the freedom to take the hardest road and do it on your own). Government is neither the problem nor the answer. No matter what changes people try to sell, there will always be a "system" in place. How you adapt and work within (or rebel against) will determine your own station in life.
I know that the American Dream means different things to different people. But in most part - it means financial success and opportunity in America-this is the definition I will use here. So can someone who did everything right- got a dual degree in college, had a great military career, and two master degrees (MPA/Management and Computer Studies/Liberal Arts). I make a cool $40k a year with a family of four. America is not the land of opportunity. There are jobs-plenty of jobs at Mickey Ds or changing oil at Quick Lube. I was out of work for 7 months! I lost my house to foreclosure, I have thousand of debt due to not having any money. And if I see one more financial expert on TV telling us to cut expenses - I guess I can cut out food, gas, and shelter. Or they make out everyone in financial trouble as being financially unworthy-we should just juggle our portfolios around-maybe sell our vacation home. Or if there is one more luxury car commercial telling me I can lease a new Mercedes Benz I think I will go postal. I was told coming from a working class family that education was the key along with hard work. I have done both. Now I have loan debt I can not pay and a family living on food stamps-which ran out because they gave me only$297 a month! How can a family eat on $297 a month? This election is for us to vote for one elite group over the other. One promises lower taxes and the other big brother to help us. But without good paying jobs there is nothing!!! Pat Buchanan in his book "Day of Reckoning" states some facts that I would have never believed years ago. Free Trade as the globalists and corporate American wants is nothing but the rich getting richer-shipping good jobs over seas-ruining our country's power to produce products- and killing the American Dream. You got to read that book even if your liberal-he makes the case against this neo-conservative bs and very liberal policies. I have a great track record -experience-leadership-education-ability to get things done. What does corporate Amerika want? Some out of college Ken or Barbie or can only nod "yes" to their corporate masters. Still what happened to the American Dreams? Can some one tell me? Please do not tell me to trust in God that all will be well unless God is going to pay my rent. I need cash. At this point I would put a cap in a brother to make a dollar. Isn't that so sad to be driven to the point of pawning your cloths for money? Maybe I can get my old lady to sell it on the streets! Some days I pray that the world would just end so the pain and stress would be over. We need to turn this pain to action.
Other - Careers & Employment - 11 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Well, fair for the rich, and unfair for the ppor. Isn't that what it's like for every country?
2 :
There are still better jobs than McDs out there. I have a BSBA in Bus admin, I make 50k+ per year, I get a company car... Its hard. Im barely making ends meet, buried in student loans and credit cards, but there is a way. What we need is a little help for us in the middle. They say we cant make jobs and that rich people need more money. The fact is, I have business plan and an idea for what I want to do tostart a business but cannot get a loan or save enough money to do it on my own. The Obama plan to re-energize this country from the bottom up, while not perfect, is what I see as the best bet to help me live my american Dream.
3 :
Trust in God. All will be well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sppIUROLies . .
4 :
I am sorry your life sucks maybe you ought to go somewhere where you mean nothing and are able to eat maybe toast for your only meal that day. The good thing is that if you don't like life here then change it. Clearly you would be making more money at Walmart so go do that. Or waiters make bank too.
5 :
To an extent yes, but I mean there are worse places out there. America is selling themselves out by encouraging businesses to go overseas by giving them tax cuts. I wouldn't mind taxes if the money was used in an efficient manner. The financial experts only tell you to cut it, if you don't need that expense, i.e cable bill, restaurant bill, use coupons and etc.
6 :
Preach!! Preach!!! The American dream is a big fat lie!! I love your post!!! I keep telling people the damn government doesnt give a rats a** about people who have lost their homes due to forclosure, who are out of jobs because of layoffs, who are struggling just to put food on the table. Thats f__ing said that your family ran out of food stamps and with grocery prices so high no a family of four cannot eat on $297 a month. You know who cares??? People that want to help, but are in no position to. The people that can help and do something about it they dont give a damn(oh wait thats the government). They dont have to worry about a damn thing because the are living really good. Having a college degree does not guarantee a great job or more money. There are lots of people with college degrees working in fast food joints or some low paying crappy job because they cant find jobs. You have two masters degrees and you only make $40,000???????? That sounds crazy. A family of four cant survive on that salary. I hope you dont have to pawn your clothes for money. Yes if the world did end your pain and suffering would be over. I dont think its going to end anytime soon though. The American dream died a loooong time ago ( from the 18th to 20th century, the beginning of America). I believe at one point in time America was the land of opportunity in these days and times it is not. The only people that have it good are the wealthy people. I read the poor and rich gap is growing fast in America. I wish I could help you in some way. No God is not going to magically pay your rent, but you can pray for him to find a way to help you pay your rent. Yeah you could be a waiter for a while. I know older people who are in their 30's and 40's waiting on tables and they have families too. Some job is better than no job. Get your wife to work as well.
7 :
First, let me say I'm sorry you've run on hard times. You and I are in similar position - I've got my degrees, didn't do the military (you have my respect for that, sir) and worked my way up, up and up, until the firm I was at didn't do what they should've been doing (getting more work) and laid off about 70 people. I've come to find that the corporate officers gave themselves a nice little bonus for keeping the company solvent. A bonus that would equal my salary for about four years (for each person). This is obscene in these times that these people would accept this, but greed will win out in the end I guess. I'm for capitalism and getting what you're worth, but to do so at the painful expense of others is criminal in my opinion. I have to say, I've been fortunate that I still have my home, but things are tight. But to answer your question, the American Dream is still there, but for some it has turned into a nightmare. I know this will ring hollow, but keep your chin up, and know that many of us are in this with you. Good luck to you.
8 :
Security is an illusion. Welcome to reality. If you trust in yourself, you can survive (maybe).
9 :
Yes. It's a lie that only successful people are worthy of the fruits of success particulary when the definition of success is so narrow. Look at how we treat the people that work the hardest. It kills me how much entertainers make. I'm talking about the ones that aren't talented or that don't seem to put in much effort. Clinton did a lot of damage and he is a blue dog democrat. He is appeasing to Republicans. I don't think Obama will be able to do what is truly needed. It will be a step in the right direction. You should start a business but with what money? Isn't that key? I would love to start my own business. I need money and time of which I am really short. In college, I worked for a family friend that got laid off and was fortunate enough to be able to start a drycleaning business. He said that he did so because he couldn't find work. He was in business management. He and his wife served in the Military. Great people. edit: Network. You may have to move. Contact employment agencies in your area. Volunteer because it could lead to more opportunities.
10 :
Maybe some of you just need to live outside the states for a while. I lived in Chile for a few years then came back. There, the government make it nearly impossible to get ahead. I came back to the states, and I got my degree in construction management (nothing fancy-but it is specialized). I work my butt off and my first year out of school I am pulling in about 85K. I am not saying this to brag, but I am saying that opportunity still exists if you find yourself a niche and distinguish yourself from the crowd. Anyone can make a good living if they are creative, innovative, or just willing to go balls out and work. Don't give up on America. If you don't think that we are living in the land of opportunity, go live somewhere else for a few years, then you will appreciate what you have.
11 :
I'm sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation. However, I don't think the American Dream is a lie. I think it is misunderstood. The American Dream is not a law, formula, or a guarantee. It does mean do X and you will receive Y. The American Dream means that the opportunity to advance oneself exists and has few if any governmental barriers. It means that this country is as close to a meritocracy as possible (i.e. those that generate the value, receive the rewards). Education (like any other qualification) only gets your foot in the door. It opens up opportunity, but does not guarantee success. Hard work is a great thing and strong work ethic is valuable to most companies, but it is secondary. The cold realities of business mean that companies, at least amongst the rank & file, do not reward effort - they reward results. If you can't find a job that pays what you need to comfortably support you lifestyle (yes, children are a lifestyle decision), then you have a couple options: 1) take whatever work you can and keep looking for (better yet, try generating) opportunity, or 2) strike out on your own if you can (that's the crux of American Dream right there... the freedom to take the hardest road and do it on your own). Government is neither the problem nor the answer. No matter what changes people try to sell, there will always be a "system" in place. How you adapt and work within (or rebel against) will determine your own station in life.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
My uncle is furious with me, what to do
My uncle is furious with me, what to do?
I got a real family struggle here. For a few months already my uncle and aunt are gossiping about me. I'm having a gap year because I cannot start studying yet because of a stupid lottery system. So to make the best out of this schoolyear I found a family where I can start working as an au pair this week (although its already known for 3 months). At first when I told them they were very enthusiastic, as usual, but later on they thought it was the worst Idea I ever came up with. They even called my mom, yelling at her that she was not a good parent to let me go (Im 20 btw), yelling how much it would cost my family and that I probably would have to work 24/7 and yelling that the man of family should not be trusted. By this time both me and my mom had met the family, who all seem to be great. I get paid well, do not have to do cleaning, laundry ect (only help making small meals for the children). The 2 children (age 3 and 5) both go to daycare and the mom only works 15h a week. Anyway, because we had met them we were of course not impressed by my uncle. So to prevent more gossiping I kept my trip to the USA (I live in Holland) ,which I planned 10 days before my acctual flight, silent and did not tell anyone besides my own parents and siblings. Anyway, when I was in the USA my grandma died very suddenly. I was with my friends in california when I heard the news and they have been a real support! I was so glad to have them around me since I was devastated by the news. I always knew it would be very hard for me. Still, I did not go to the funeral, because I know my grandma would not have wanted me to come back. Besides I did not wanted to be an emotional wreck on my grandmothers funeral because I know my mom would put her feelings aside to comfort me, and I did not want that. I always react very emotional and especially after losing my grandma, I cried so much, I can't even imagine how I would be when feeling such grief while being so tired from the jetlag. So, Instead I chose to stay with my friends who were very understanding. Anyway, my uncle really hates me now and thinks I'm the most selfish person on earth because I did not come back. I really want to explain everything to him, but he always seems to interpered things differently, so I don't know if I should write him a letter. My mom told him after all the gossiping that I would probably not see him for a while, and he replied that it was probably for the best because he doesn't want to see me anymore. He even told my mom at my grandmothers funeral how angry he was that me and my sister (who is still in amerika and also couldn't come) didn't come and how much he always did so much for us, and how little we have done for him (I could come up with lots of things that I have done for him). I just don't know what to do anymore. Would it be better if I just didn't contact him anymore, or should I try to explain even though he'll probably read it differently than it's meant (Such a situation happened before and made him even more angry). Please give me some advice because I really don't know what to do. thanks
Family - 11 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
thanks for the book
2 :
Just Kill him
3 :
You need to calm down so that people read it. but i read it and you need to show you care
4 :
i say you should tell him why you didn't go, and if he gets mad, thats his problem, not yours. at least you tried, right?
5 :
wow thats pretty crazy. if i was in ur situation id write him a letter and tell him everything, if he reads it hopfully hel underdand, if he just skims through it not caring, or just not reading it at all, than fine, you tried to tell him and talk to him, so thats not your fault you are just being the better person, ya of course i would feel upset to if he still kept talking like that but who wouldnt? but i guess thats just your uncles personality, i have family that gossips too no matter what you say or do. its not your fault. he needs to understand, so write that letter and tell him everything, cause at least you tried.
6 :
You need to send him a note telling him you're sorry if you offended him or hurt his feelings and you that you love him and hope your relationship can improve. Don't try to defend yourself and don't make accusations against him. If he responds negatively, don't respond. Whether his response is good or bad, back off for a bit, do your best to limit interaction with him and give everyone time to cool off and deal with their grief. Your mother/parents should be making it very clear that he has no business gossiping about you or attempting to impose his will on you. You are not his child. Your mother should be doing more to protect you from his vitriol. Try to convey this to her, and ask her to support you more the next time she speaks to her brother.
7 :
I would suggest writing a letter, and explain your feelings and leave the door open for further contact. If all he does is complain about your choices, say very firmly and respectfully "Uncle, I am an adult now. I am very capable of making MY own decisions based on whats best for ME. This is MY life. NOT yours. I respect your advice, but you are not allowed to try to control my life.' Make the first step, write the letter/email send it. And as they say the ball will be in his court. If he wants to cut off contact w/ you. Thats his problem.
8 :
well not knowing you its a little tough to tell you what would be best. But, if I were in your position this is what I'd do. I would first try calling him and explaining why you decided to stay. Maybe he's missing a piece of the story and you can give him a different view point to help him understand. If he won't listen to you, then I'd write a letter. He can't interrupt you if you write a letter. You might want to think about having someone you trust to give you honest feedback read it first to tell you if there is anything you'd like to consider removing. If he still wants nothing to do with you, there's not much else you can do besides wait til he gets over it.
9 :
I think you should just send him a letter. Just put pen to paper and write down everything you feel and everything you want him to know. If he doesn't read it, then well....... Too bad for him. If he does, and he still doesn't get you, try getting one of your parents/siblings to talk to him, and maybe he'll open up to them. If he reads it, and understands you, then great! You'll still have a lot of talking to do, but at least you'll have one huge step wedged in place! Honestly, just give him time. And write that letter. There's nothing else you can do. You can't say all of this over the phone (too much heavy conversation) and you obviously can't email this to him for the same reason. The only other option is to send him a letter. And do not type the letter. Hand- write it. It shows that you care enough for him, even after all of this. It shows that you still have time for him. If he lives nearby you, then write the letter, then go to his house, and give it to him to read. Chances are, he'll read it in front of you and talk to you after. But be brave! You never know what could happen! I had to take the a similar leap with someone I really care about, and it worked out really well....... I'm blissfully happy now. I hope this helps!! Good luck! :D
10 :
I would be fair and tell him in a letter your side of the story. Like how they changed their minds, etc. Tell him how you feel. How he reacts is his choice, nut you gotta give him the oppurtunity. If he reacts badly, stop the contact. Time does heal wounds.
11 :
Your mom and dad need to tell him to shut up. He is having too much say in your life. You are not his child and you are doing ok on your own. I would have said you should have been at your grandmothers funeral out of respect. But you are a adult and you can make your own choices next time you are home tell him off. He is not in charge of you and don't contact him.
I got a real family struggle here. For a few months already my uncle and aunt are gossiping about me. I'm having a gap year because I cannot start studying yet because of a stupid lottery system. So to make the best out of this schoolyear I found a family where I can start working as an au pair this week (although its already known for 3 months). At first when I told them they were very enthusiastic, as usual, but later on they thought it was the worst Idea I ever came up with. They even called my mom, yelling at her that she was not a good parent to let me go (Im 20 btw), yelling how much it would cost my family and that I probably would have to work 24/7 and yelling that the man of family should not be trusted. By this time both me and my mom had met the family, who all seem to be great. I get paid well, do not have to do cleaning, laundry ect (only help making small meals for the children). The 2 children (age 3 and 5) both go to daycare and the mom only works 15h a week. Anyway, because we had met them we were of course not impressed by my uncle. So to prevent more gossiping I kept my trip to the USA (I live in Holland) ,which I planned 10 days before my acctual flight, silent and did not tell anyone besides my own parents and siblings. Anyway, when I was in the USA my grandma died very suddenly. I was with my friends in california when I heard the news and they have been a real support! I was so glad to have them around me since I was devastated by the news. I always knew it would be very hard for me. Still, I did not go to the funeral, because I know my grandma would not have wanted me to come back. Besides I did not wanted to be an emotional wreck on my grandmothers funeral because I know my mom would put her feelings aside to comfort me, and I did not want that. I always react very emotional and especially after losing my grandma, I cried so much, I can't even imagine how I would be when feeling such grief while being so tired from the jetlag. So, Instead I chose to stay with my friends who were very understanding. Anyway, my uncle really hates me now and thinks I'm the most selfish person on earth because I did not come back. I really want to explain everything to him, but he always seems to interpered things differently, so I don't know if I should write him a letter. My mom told him after all the gossiping that I would probably not see him for a while, and he replied that it was probably for the best because he doesn't want to see me anymore. He even told my mom at my grandmothers funeral how angry he was that me and my sister (who is still in amerika and also couldn't come) didn't come and how much he always did so much for us, and how little we have done for him (I could come up with lots of things that I have done for him). I just don't know what to do anymore. Would it be better if I just didn't contact him anymore, or should I try to explain even though he'll probably read it differently than it's meant (Such a situation happened before and made him even more angry). Please give me some advice because I really don't know what to do. thanks
Family - 11 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
thanks for the book
2 :
Just Kill him
3 :
You need to calm down so that people read it. but i read it and you need to show you care
4 :
i say you should tell him why you didn't go, and if he gets mad, thats his problem, not yours. at least you tried, right?
5 :
wow thats pretty crazy. if i was in ur situation id write him a letter and tell him everything, if he reads it hopfully hel underdand, if he just skims through it not caring, or just not reading it at all, than fine, you tried to tell him and talk to him, so thats not your fault you are just being the better person, ya of course i would feel upset to if he still kept talking like that but who wouldnt? but i guess thats just your uncles personality, i have family that gossips too no matter what you say or do. its not your fault. he needs to understand, so write that letter and tell him everything, cause at least you tried.
6 :
You need to send him a note telling him you're sorry if you offended him or hurt his feelings and you that you love him and hope your relationship can improve. Don't try to defend yourself and don't make accusations against him. If he responds negatively, don't respond. Whether his response is good or bad, back off for a bit, do your best to limit interaction with him and give everyone time to cool off and deal with their grief. Your mother/parents should be making it very clear that he has no business gossiping about you or attempting to impose his will on you. You are not his child. Your mother should be doing more to protect you from his vitriol. Try to convey this to her, and ask her to support you more the next time she speaks to her brother.
7 :
I would suggest writing a letter, and explain your feelings and leave the door open for further contact. If all he does is complain about your choices, say very firmly and respectfully "Uncle, I am an adult now. I am very capable of making MY own decisions based on whats best for ME. This is MY life. NOT yours. I respect your advice, but you are not allowed to try to control my life.' Make the first step, write the letter/email send it. And as they say the ball will be in his court. If he wants to cut off contact w/ you. Thats his problem.
8 :
well not knowing you its a little tough to tell you what would be best. But, if I were in your position this is what I'd do. I would first try calling him and explaining why you decided to stay. Maybe he's missing a piece of the story and you can give him a different view point to help him understand. If he won't listen to you, then I'd write a letter. He can't interrupt you if you write a letter. You might want to think about having someone you trust to give you honest feedback read it first to tell you if there is anything you'd like to consider removing. If he still wants nothing to do with you, there's not much else you can do besides wait til he gets over it.
9 :
I think you should just send him a letter. Just put pen to paper and write down everything you feel and everything you want him to know. If he doesn't read it, then well....... Too bad for him. If he does, and he still doesn't get you, try getting one of your parents/siblings to talk to him, and maybe he'll open up to them. If he reads it, and understands you, then great! You'll still have a lot of talking to do, but at least you'll have one huge step wedged in place! Honestly, just give him time. And write that letter. There's nothing else you can do. You can't say all of this over the phone (too much heavy conversation) and you obviously can't email this to him for the same reason. The only other option is to send him a letter. And do not type the letter. Hand- write it. It shows that you care enough for him, even after all of this. It shows that you still have time for him. If he lives nearby you, then write the letter, then go to his house, and give it to him to read. Chances are, he'll read it in front of you and talk to you after. But be brave! You never know what could happen! I had to take the a similar leap with someone I really care about, and it worked out really well....... I'm blissfully happy now. I hope this helps!! Good luck! :D
10 :
I would be fair and tell him in a letter your side of the story. Like how they changed their minds, etc. Tell him how you feel. How he reacts is his choice, nut you gotta give him the oppurtunity. If he reacts badly, stop the contact. Time does heal wounds.
11 :
Your mom and dad need to tell him to shut up. He is having too much say in your life. You are not his child and you are doing ok on your own. I would have said you should have been at your grandmothers funeral out of respect. But you are a adult and you can make your own choices next time you are home tell him off. He is not in charge of you and don't contact him.
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